Fischer Is Too Much to Bear


Bryan Fischer, who serves as hater-in-chief for the American Family Association, is developing a hate list rivaled in length only by Mr. T’s pity list.

Now on Fischer’s hate list: bears. Right alongside Muslims, homosexuals, Jews and poor people sit grizzly bears, which should be shot on sight, Fischer says.

Writing on the AFA’s blog on Wednesday, Fischer wrote of the recent bear mauling death of a man and other bear attacks at Yellowstone National Park, you know, where a lot of grizzlies live.

Tragic, for sure, that a man lost his life because of a bear. But Fischer then goes on to link the bear attacks to scripture and uses the old fringe religious-right go-to explanation for every man-made or natural ill that befalls the country: God brought it on us because of our sinnin’ and such.

Fischer writes:

As I have written before, God’s word to ancient Israel was that a growing danger from wild animals is a sign of a nation in rebellion against God. “If you will not listen to me and will not do all these commandments…I will let loose the wild beasts against you, which shall bereave you of your children and destroy your livestock” (Leviticus 26:14, 22).

In the case of the United States, there is no need for God to “let loose the wild beasts” against us, because we are doing a fine job of it all by ourselves. And we are doing it to ourselves because we have rejected the teaching of Scripture that God has given to man authority over the animal kingdom. Man has been given authority by God over the earth, to “subdue it and have dominion over…every living thing that moves on the earth” (Genesis 1:28). This authority certainly extends to putting predators out of our misery.

Recap: because two guys can marry each other in New York, bears are attacking people in Yellowstone. (To be fair, homosexuality is not mentioned in this particular blog post, but it’s Fischer we’re talking about, for Pete’s sake.)

Fischer doesn’t stop there and goes on to argue in favor of shooting all bears on sight. He claims secularism has elevated animal life above human life, which he says will lead to more human deaths because “hapless humans” aren’t willing to get rid of the problem.

It’s time to shoot these man-eaters on sight. Human life is of infinitely more value than the life of a grizzly. If it’s a choice between a man and a grizzly bear, the grizzly bear is going down. Let’s get back to Scripture, and spend less time saving grizzlies and more time protecting creatures made in the image of God.

It’s ironic that Fischer was saying all of this right around the time he was saying this to the New York Times:

I don’t think we are exaggerating the dangers to the country, the culture, the American family. The stakes are as high as they could be.

Actually, yes, you are exaggerating. It doesn’t take too much digging or Googling to find that there are much bigger threats to human life out there. Case in point, cattle. Here is a Centers for Disease Control rundown of the many humans killed by cattle from 2003-2008. And these cattle-related deaths are in ONLY four states.

Where’s the outrage against Bessie, Bryan?

12 Responses to “Fischer Is Too Much to Bear”

  1. Coragyps Says:

    I wonder if the current incidence of mocking bald-headed prophets correlates with grizzly-bear attacks? Mr Fischer is missing out on possibly the most important bear story in his whole holy book.

  2. David Bigwood Says:

    I think it has to do with eating shellfish. I hope see more Christians picketing Red Lobster resturants. Then those animal attacks will cease.

  3. Gordon Fowkes Says:

    One must bear under the barely perceptible bearing that bears have on a bearish economy or barely enough to bear on politcal bearishness. Of the most important factoids bearing on the subject of political bearings is the bearing of the Empress Theodora (500-548 AD) who was born of a bear trainer and a bear dancer, and while barely pubescent, performed stage porn with bears before being born away by the Emperor Theodore as wife and Empress.

    Undoubtedly her bare naked bear performances taught her to bare fear in the face of pretty big bears, which gave her the fortitude to bear the anger of the Nike riots, and bore down on the rioters with a bloody massacre in the Hippodrome.

    What bears on today’s bearish economy barely at all is the bearing that the importance of religious ikons that bore the thrust of religious fervor in the Empire under Theodore and Theodora.

  4. Charles Says:

    Once upon a time there were three bears, papa bear, mama bear, and….

  5. AOlson Says:

    This man needs therapy immediately. But first, let him visit Mama Grizzly in Alaska!

  6. JamesBreck Says:

    Wasn’t Fischer one of the Villiage People? The Indian, the construction worker, the biker and Bryan the bear unless I’m mistaken.

  7. Gary Cooper, McAllen, Texas Says:

    OK, I’m not surprised these days to hear about Bryan Fischer hating any given group of people– homosexuals, Muslims, shoe-repair workers, orchid growers, etc., etc., etc.

    But bears? What’s he got against bears?

    Dogs actually maul far more people, and kill more livestock, than bears do. But let’s not shoot all the dogs just yet.

  8. Beverly Kurtin Says:

    Gordon, I hope you can bear up against all of this. We all know that Fischer is mentally unstable. Unfortunately, SCOTUS has ruled that we can’t keep people like him in institutions where he belongs. MORONS do not listen to the instructions about bears in the park. So they get between a cub or cubs and their mama. What do they THINK they are doing? City folks should be shot and killed for breaking the rules of the park. The see the cute little bears and think they are tame. What is wrong with them? Even this gal knows to give animals a wide berth.

    As far as Fischer, I like to ignore him and his group the same way I ignore the KKK and the would-be Nazi groups. They’re all mentally unstable.

    I can’t wait for the time of Isaiah 53 when the world will stand, amazed at what they had done to the Jews over the centuries. If Fischer and his group of fascists (that is exactly what they are) are around, he’s going to have to eat his words.

    Yes, I know that fundies like to believe that Isaiah 53 foretells the coming of Jesus, but since Jesus never married how could his life be prolonged and see his children? Huh, huh, huh?

  9. Charles Says:

    Is that anything like Fischer’s baloney…ugh…bologna?

  10. Copyleft Says:

    Wait… and if bear attacks are a sign of God’s wrath, humanity should respond by… shooting the bears?

    Isn’t that pretty much Defying God’s Will on a massive scale?

  11. Charles Says:

    No. I think shooting God would be the defying factor.

  12. skinner city cyclist Says:

    Fire at will, Charles….

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