TFN Says Goodbye

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Darn, there go our plans for the weekend.

Word on the Internet is that the world will end Saturday. Since it’s on the Internet, it must be true. Especially if it’s on YouTube—it is, we checked—where state Rep. Leo Berman says those ‘Tubes are infallible.

For the person who wins the Texas lotto on Saturday night, this is horrible timing.

So here at TFN Insider we’re writing one last post to say goodbye and wish everybody best of luck in whatever comes your way after Saturday.

We want to thank everyone for their kind support for the past 15+ years. Thank you for all the snarky comments on this blog. And two big thumbs up—as our bumper stickers say—for doing your part to piss off the religious right.

Having nothing to lose at this point, we also want to fess up to a few things. The advice from the folks predicting May 21 is the end of days is to get things in order before we all leave, and we would never ignore guidance from people who have twice predicted the end of the world.

Let’s start with David Barton.

Dear Dave: we’re sorry. We’re actually big fans. Sorry for all that bothersome fact-checking. You taught us that when you have the gift of an imagination, you don’t need a DeLorean to change history. And for that, we thank you.

To the Texas State Board of Education: you were right. Those social studies standards, your stances on evolution and abstinence-only sex education, and dislike of Muslims were all spot on. It just that TFN, truckloads of scholars with a “left-wing elitist” education, teachers and university professors, qualified experts, everyday people blessed with sanity, and even conservative think tanks were sitting around one day bored and with nothing else to do. So we all got together and said, “Let’s pick on the SBOE.”

Sorry about that.

To the good folks at Liberty Institute/Focus on the Family … actually, never mind. Everything we said about you is pretty accurate.

So that’s it. Time to say goodbye. It’s been fun. We wish everyone a safe journey tomorrow.

Actually, no, not really. We’re not going anywhere. We’re pretty certain TFN, you, the religious right, and the rest of the world will still be here on Sunday, though some of us who have been watching the Texas Legislature for a few months now could go for an apocalypse or two.

But this whole talk of the rapture happening tomorrow has been amusing, much like it will be the next time the religious right predicts the end is nigh.

11 Responses to “TFN Says Goodbye”

  1. Joel Says:

    I too want to wish the world goodbye. Just so I have enough time to prepare, will someone please tell me when the world will end? Is it Eastern Daylight Time, European Summer Time, midnight at the International Date Line, or the 47th hour of day 9037 on Venus?

  2. Stacy Says:

    It begins, apparently, at 6PM local time at the International Date Line, so that’s like 1Am here. Supposedly going to travel like a rolling brown out around the world from that point. Or so says the creepy old dude. Seriously. He looks like the old preacher guy from Poltergeist 2.

  3. bigjohn756 Says:

    Most things that I have read say that the Rapture will occur at 6p.m. local time. I guess they want to spread it out so the lines don’t get too long. But 6:00p.m. is good too because it gives us all a good portion of Saturday to celebrate the weekend.

  4. Ben Says:

    I was just talking to Osiris and he says nope, ain’t gonna happen.

  5. flora68 Says:

    Actually, it’s supposed to start at 6pm local time in New Zealand, which is 11pm CDT. There’s a countdown clock on my little blog at this web address: http://fauna68.blogspot.com/….

    Just scroll on down past all the Republican Clown College to “Apocalypse Countdown”

    Meanwhile, I’m still buying green bananas and large bags of dog food, and making appointments for next week.

    HOWEVER, but if you know anyone who’s really planning to ‘ascend’ on Saturday, please let me know because I’d like to ask them a favor. The transmission on my Civic is in it’s last days for real, so I need a car. But having a net worth of exactly $9 (literally $9 to last until June), I’m thinking that since the Campers” won’t be needing theirs after Saturday…

  6. Eric Hetvile Says:

    Is the earthquake going to take an hour to cross each time zone? This is all so confusing!

  7. Charles Says:

    Here are some past predictions from Wikipedia:

    1844 – William Miller predicted Christ would return between March 21, 1843 and March 21, 1844, then revised his prediction, claiming to have miscalculated Scripture, to October 22, 1844. The realization that the predictions were incorrect resulted in a Great Disappointment. Miller’s theology gave rise to the Advent movement. The Baha’is believe that Christ did return as Miller predicted in 1844, with the advent of The Báb, and numerous Miller-like prophetic predictions from many religions are given in William Sears book, Thief in The Night.[57]

    1914[58], 1918[59], 1925[60], 1942[61] – Dates set for the end by the Jehovah’s Witnesses

    1981 – Chuck Smith predicted that Jesus would probably return by 1981.[62]

    1988 – Publication of 88 Reasons why the Rapture is in 1988, by Edgar C. Whisenant.

    1989 – Publication of The final shout: Rapture report 1989, by Edgar Whisenant. More predictions by this author appeared for 1992, 1995, and other years.

    1992 – Korean group “Mission for the Coming Days” predicted October 28, 1992 as the date for the rapture.[63]

    1993 – Seven years before the year 2000. The rapture would have to start to allow for seven years of the Tribulation before the Return in 2000. Multiple predictions.

    1994 – Pastor John Hinkle of Christ Church in Los Angeles predicted June 9, 1994. Radio evangelist Harold Camping predicted September 6, 1994.[64]

    2011 – Harold Camping’s revised prediction has May 21, 2011 as the date of the rapture.[65][66]

    2060 – Sir Isaac Newton proposed, based upon his calculations using figures from the book of Daniel, that the Apocalypse could happen no earlier than 2060.[67][68]

  8. Charles Says:

    Well, maybe this is the day. It’s 3:00 a.m. and we (meaning the family) are staying at a Hampton Inn. The fire alarm just went off, guests have scurried down, and the fire department is combing the place for any sign of a real fire. Maybe this is an omen. The only other time I had to do this was in Amarillo around 1994. Sleep tight and be glad it’s not you.

  9. Wen Says:

    To all who are enraptured…..just leave me your car keys. If you don’t disappear I will sell them back to you.

  10. Joel Says:

    It is now 6:55 PM here in Tuscany. There is a thunderstorm threatening the area, but no signs of fire and brimstone. I guess I should be glad the good reverend is an idiot, but now when I get home I’ll have to pay the bills for the trip.

    But, on the other hand, maybe it did happen and everything disappeared. And was replaced with an exact duplicate (pace Stephen Wright). I’m just saying.

  11. Coragyps Says:

    Ascension Deficit Disorder. That’s what’s to blame for the lack of action today. Armageddon tired of all this “rapture” BS anyway……..

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